Q & A With Jim “Soni” Sonefeld

“THE LEASH WAS LONG” recalls Jim Sonefeld fondly of his fun and carefree childhood in Naperville, playing sports and hanging around with the neighborhood kids. It wasn’t until 7th grade that he received his first drum set, which along with his growing passion for soccer, would serendipitously lead him to fame as the drummer for Hootie & the Blowfish. The 90s band rocketed to stardom with the release of its debut album, “Cracked Rear View,” which went on to sell more than 25 million copies and is the 9th best-selling album of all time. After that, “life got real fast,” acknowledges Sonefeld, who shares some of the highlights of his career along with his subsequent challenges with alcohol and how he is now using his experiences to help and serve others.

When did you move to Naperville and what was it like growing up there. What were your favorite activities and any especially fond memories of your youth, things you did, places you hung out?

JS: The Sonefeld family of seven arrived on Hercules Lane in the summer of 1973 — I am the middle child of five. We were met with a yard full of neighbor kids ready to play baseball, football, basketball or ride bikes, and we stayed outside most of the year doing those activities. The leash was long for all of us kids on the block. We would make regular trips to the Naper Plaza for snacks at Alton’s, Grant’s, or the old A&P grocery store. Pioneer Park was also a popular destination, well before there were any houses in or around the property. My family became members at Maplebrook II pool for some reason, but we would happily go back and forth there in the summer for swimming and tennis. Drum lessons and a drum set wouldn’t come until the 7th grade, so there was relative quiet in our home until that year!

You went to Naperville Central High School? What kind of student were you and what activities were you involved in? Any early mentors or folks who inspired you in some way?

JS: I started at NCHS in 1979 and the student body was about 2,000 kids in that era. Most of my obsession centered around playing soccer and hanging out with a new group of kids from “Central.” I had attended St. Raphael’s Catholic School prior to that, so entering a big, public school was an adventure for me. Unfortunately, mischief consumed much of our time, and getting away with underage drinking always put us in one precarious position or another. My grades were decent enough, but the class that most enthused me every semester was Spanish (Ms. Everitt and Ms. Vera). It would help me greatly when I ended up playing in the predominantly Mexican soccer league in Aurora a few years later.

You ended up going to the University of South Carolina to play collegiate soccer. How did that work out and how did you later end up connecting with the other members of what would eventually become Hootie & the Blowfish?

JS: I took a big chance going to South Carolina with only the promise of a walk-on tryout, but I made the team and thrived as a starter for three of my four years. I was far less successful academically. It took six years to gain my bachelors with all the failed classes and a gap year. The great thing is it put me on a perfect timeline to meet my bandmates, who had started college several years after me. Timing is everything! I joined Hootie because I wanted to be a songwriter and they had just made a decision to focus on original material. Commitment to our songwriting and performing craft, even if we were a little naive to the business side of music, are the main reasons I joined the band. We ended up becoming great friends along the way.

The band was signed by Atlantic Records in 1993 and the debut album, “Cracked Rear View,” was released in July of the following year. Sales started off slowly, but two months later the band performed on “Late Night With David Letterman.” After the performance Letterman told the audience that “if you don’t own a copy of this album, there’s something wrong with you,” and within days, sales more than tripled and it went on to become one of the top selling albums of all time. How did your life change?

JS: When Letterman chose to put us in front of his millions of viewers one night, it was a game changer. There’s not one thing that didn’t change in my life. There was not a single thing that was left somehow unaffected by stardom or fame or notoriety. It’s hard to even narrow it down. Certainly, having money is a nice thing, and that was a big change. The idea of being recognized was different, but it’s not the worst thing in the world. I guess the biggest thing was just the whirlwind schedule — going until somebody tells you to stop. Life got real fast.

Can you share just a couple of the more surreal experiences of stardom, people you got to meet, crazy or unusual experiences you had — moments that you really had to pinch yourself to believe were really happening?

JS: Finding ourselves in a pretty sizable Dublin, Ireland auditorium in 1995-96, hearing the lovely swell of Irish voices bellowing the chorus to “Hold My Hand” was awe-inspiring. I thought to myself, ‘I wrote these lyrics in 1989 in my dumpy, Columbia, South Carolina apartment when I finished college, and now thousands of Irishmen are singing it in unison — what is happening?!’ Another moment that shook me was receiving one of our Grammy Awards from my childhood heroes, KISS, in their full makeup. Standing on the Grammy stage was unfathomable, standing next to KISS was just bizarre!

With the stardom came the vagabond life of constantly being on the road touring and the many challenges of fame and a faster celebrity lifestyle. For you that involved alcohol and drugs — though mostly alcohol — and you have been pretty upfront about those challenges. You tried to address the problem a number of times, but the turning point did not come until 2004 where you passed out one Saturday night in your studio behind your home.

JS: I had built a studio behind my house so I could make music and also drink, drug and escape. My 4-year-old daughter, Cameron, came out to visit me in my studio at 10:30 on a Sunday morning and I was still sound asleep, passed out on the couch. And that little angel hopped on my chest and looked down on me and said, ‘Dad, what are you doing?’ Just four simple words, but I was somehow silenced. That was when some power greater than me shut me down and shut me up, and I couldn’t even muster an excuse as to why I was still in my clothes from the night before . . . why I hadn’t gone to sleep with my family in the house. And that was the moment. I sat up, rubbed my eyes and said, ‘I’m done. I need help.’ That was my surrender moment.

You then got involved in a 12-Step recovery program and perhaps partly through the group’s use of the Serenity Prayer, you also turned to a life of faith. Can you explain a little about that transformational process, how it changed you, and how the Serenity Prayer is still a key part of your life?

JS: No matter what you may think about power of prayer or a god concept, the Serenity Prayer is extremely helpful in categorizing daily struggles into two basic categories: accepting situations you cannot change and a willingness to change things that are your responsibility. That structure has been extremely useful for someone like me who tends towards extreme thinking. Generally speaking, my 12-Step recovery has challenged me to search deeply to discover not only who I am, but what God is to me. As an alcoholic I have a pretty basic problem — an obsession with consuming alcohol to feel better, but a physical body that can’t handle it. An insatiable craving is set in motion if I have that first drink. So I basically have a power problem — I need a power greater than myself to overcome this malady. I call that power God.

You also stopped touring with the band and transitioned into being a contemporary Christian artist. How were you inspired to follow that musical path and how would you describe the contrast of being part of Hootie to performing songs of faith?

JS: I found myself at a musical crossroads after the band put an indefinite pause on touring and writing together in September of 2008 and I began my second marriage three months later. Though I’d just released a full-length album earlier in 2008 under the name James Sonefeld, a project I’m very proud of, I decided to prioritize becoming a better father going forward, and that included three stepchildren I gained when I remarried. As we spent a few years adjusting to our family of seven, I began writing songs about the spiritual journey, which by then signified love, hope and recovery. Lyrically, it was a big divergence from the songs I wrote with the band but it was authentic for me.

Tell us a little about your most recent projects musically, how you are sharing your story with recovery groups?

JS: After my first contemporary Christian release,“Found” in 2012, I was invited to sing those songs and tell my recovery story at a group called Celebrate Recovery. They combine the 12-Step model with biblical teaching, for relief from life’s hurts, hang-ups, and habits. It is the perfect audience for my music. I continue fellowshipping and performing at Celebrate Recovery groups around the southeast, as it allows me a place to serve others while staying close to home. I mostly just bring my acoustic guitar and my story, and the intimate setting has been intrinsic to my spiritual growth.

You typically get together with your Hootie bandmates to do three or four concerts a year to raise funds for charity. And a couple years ago, you all got together to put out a new album, “Imperfect Circle.” What is it like when you all get back together and any new plans on the horizon?

JS: Getting together for a charity show is a lot easier than reconvening to make a new record, especially considering we hadn’t written or recorded together for 13 years. The mood was generally hopeful, though at times it also felt ‘anxious’, wondering how the songs might, or might not connect with our audience. In my head I couldn’t stop thinking, “Is this song too country, or too poppy, or too dated?” As a group we are like a family, where siblings fall into the same traditional roles as they established when they were younger. We tend to do the same — never changing, yet ever-changing. We’d make a good case study for some psychology class! No immediate plans for another record though.

You wrote Hootie and the Blowfish’s first breakout hit, “Hold My Hand.” What do you think was special about that song that made it so successful? And for aspiring songwriters out there, any tips on the song writing process? For example, which typically comes first, lyrics or the music?

JS: I penned “Hold My Hand” with a naive sensibility and a hopeful heart, and I believe that stance speaks to a lot of listeners. It helps too that the melody, chord progression and presentation are simple, because none of it distracts from the most important aspect of the song — the lyrical message of loving one another. I wrote more extensively about the creation of this song in my memoir Swimming With the Blowfish — Hootie, Healing, and One Hell of a Ride (Diversion Books) which is coming out in June. It was cathartic to look back and rediscover its roots. I still write the same way, either inspired by a lyrical theme or a chord progression, and either one can come first.

Do you still have any connections in Naperville and if so, how often do you get back to visit? When you are in town, are there any places that you make a point to go, restaurants, attractions, etc?

JS: I still have a few close friends back in Naperville and I cherish the connection to my past, especially when many parts of Naperville have changed so drastically. Each time I return I do the same things, and it warms my heart. I drive down my old street, Hercules Lane, and stop to let the vivid memories fill me. I drive by Pioneer Park and wonder just how that shallow, little river seemed so ominous as a child. I drive to Knoch Park, by ‘The Barn’ — which was torn down a few years ago — to recall the many joyous hours I spent working with and for my mom at the Park District. I felt like a rich man when they paid me $3.50 an hour for doing anything from scorekeeping men’s softball, to working at the baseball field concession stand, to working registration for each new season. It’s just a good feeling looking back!